Jeremiah 1:5

I am a very stubborn person. Everything is black or white, right or wrong. So for someone to change my mind or opinion on something is a pretty big win for them. This time, God won. He changed my heart in such a powerful way, so of course I must share!

My generation and the generation following me have a very unique struggle. With all the social media, movies and television we hear so many different opinions. Opinions on whether or not to vaccinate, who to vote for, how you should look, how to raise our kids, basically what to believe. IT'S LOUD AND IT DOESN'T GO AWAY! It's like the devil on your shoulder, whispering nonsense into your ear and it doesn't let up. I was in a place of such confusion, I just had no idea what and who to believe.

Anytime the topic of abortion would come up I sort of had to typical answer, "Of course I don't believe in it but what if someone is raped?", or "I would never do it but it's not my business what other people do". I took this stance because I had never heard anyone put up a good fight about it. I really had never heard a christian talk about it in depth. That's what I mean when I say the media is loud. I have been in church and around christian's my whole life and never heard anyone really talk about abortion. I'm sure they did but the things I was seeing and reading had such a bigger impact on my life so that's what I went along with.

Brandon and I had never talked about abortion either. We both were sort of neutral about it. He came across a documentary called 180 and our views changed almost instantly. All it took was hearing someone explain what abortion REALLY is and what an impact it really has on peoples lives. Shortly after that, our pastor did a whole sermon on abortion. I think that is when my views dramatically changed. I mean I was on fire after that, and the fire just keeps getting bigger and hotter. I later did a ton of research and learned that people actually perform abortions all throughout pregnancy, not just the first trimester. I really don't think that is common knowledge because I have had so many people say "Well that is illegal so that doesn't happen". Umm GOOGLE IT! Watching a doctor break the neck of a baby at 24 weeks and proceed to break each limb off and pull all the pieces out of the womb, that crap changes your life. I cried the entire video and for a while after that.

I just never knew how gruesome the act of abortion really is. It is murder in the worst form. I don't have the ability to change anyone's mind even though I wish I could. For me, it took God changing my heart and giving me love and compassion for those helpless little babies. You can make excuses all you want but I truly think people know the truth, deep down. If you aren't sure where you stand I will give a few resources that simply educate. DO YOUR RESEARCH!

I don't want this to be a post about why abortion is wrong, even though I could go on for days about that. My hope is that people see no matter where you stand on the debate, the problem isn't going to go away until people are ready for God to work in their lives. We need hearts to be completely transformed and it is so possible!

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew[a] you,
    before you were born I set you apart;
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
Jeremiah 1:5


Links to abortion information:
180: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y2KsU_dhwI
Live Abortion: http://www.advocatesoflife.com/graphicabortionimages.htm

I also recommend watching Octoberbaby. If you don't like crying in front of people you should probably watch it alone. 

Haters Gonna Hate

Lately, I have been working through issues of self-confidence and God-confidence. I'm torn because I want to be liked and accepted by my peers but I also want to be myself and be bold in my love for God. I mean, what girl doesn't want to be prom queen? I feel like i'm in the running for prom queen, all the time! If I don't say the right thing to the right person they might not vote for me. I don't agree with what people are doing but i'm going to go along with it because that's the cool thing to do. Now, i'm not talking about high school prom, i'm talking about real life prom, and i'm over it.

I'm a hairstylist so I talk to a lot of people. Some have the same beliefs as me, some have the same interests and some I have nothing in common with. God has put some of these people in my life to build me up and give me encouragement for which I am so grateful. There is one thing that stays constant in every situation; I have to opportunity to share my love for God with every one of these people! What a perfect situation God has put me in. The problem is Jesus said some pretty controversial things and I don't want to rock the boat. The gospel isn't very popular in my sphere of influence and I want people to like me. I HAVE to be prom queen.

So if God wants me to bring his kingdom everywhere I go, I have to be okay with not being the most popular person. When people have a problem with God, they hate everyone and everything that reminds them of Him.  If people like what I say and  I win prom queen, that's a bonus! God has so much more to offer us than the world does. He is offering us the greatest life on earth and eternal life, so why isn't that enough? For me, I am working on really understanding what God thinks of me. I feel like if I see what he sees and I can accomplish more for him. Not everyone has this struggle but I know a lot of people that do. So this is my conclusion.

John 15:18-21
18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20 Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’[a] If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21 They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me.

What ever we are going through, we need to remember that Jesus went through the same thing on Earth. People literally HATED him so much they killed him. And i'm worried about being popular? I'm not saying it's a silly struggle i'm just trying to put it in perspective.

I want this to be an encouragement to me and you. If people don't like what you have to say it's because they have issues to workout with God not you. So we can go on with life, bringing His kingdom and encouraging those around us with the love of Christ. Ultimately, I want people to notice the light of Jesus streaming out of me not just my pretty hair or cool shoes. I'm not there yet but hey, it's a journey!

Jesus loves me, this I know.

I have grown up going to church and have always heard that God loves me. I have always believed that but I guess I'm still learning how much he really does love us. He sent His only son to die for us, right? But what does that really mean? I never realized what a sacrifice He really made.

Think of the Trinity; Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I always thought that God was the "main" guy and Jesus and the Holy Spirit were created by God but lesser than Him. I thought that God CREATED his son to die on the cross for us, so it didn't seem like that much of a sacrifice. I don't have kids yet so it would be like me creating a child knowing that I would have to sacrifice him. Well, I recently learned that God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are all equal and have always been. As long as God has been, so has the Trinity. Kind of confusing, right?

Understanding this has really changed my view on Gods love for us. He loved us SO much that he sent his only son, who has always been with Him, to walk the earth just as we do. He knew his son would have to die a gruesome and horrific death. It just blows my mind that someone would do that for me. I have everlasting life and a relationship with The Father because he loved me enough to sacrifice his son. I can hardly wrap my brain around it.

Knowing this makes the upcoming holidays mean something so different. We celebrate Christmas as the day that Jesus came to earth as a baby. We celebrate the sacrifice that God made and we need to remember what he has really done for us and why!

John 3:16 AND 17:
 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

My life. His story

I haven't blogged in a while because I want my blog to be about what God is doing in my life and man has he been doing something big! I have been debating whether or not I should make this public. Why not? Its His story anyways.

I knew from the moment I started beauty school that I was exactly where God wanted me. I trusted Him through the whole process of school and job searching because I knew this was His plan for me. I started working at the salon right out of school and had a few really really tough months. Again, I knew God wanted me there but didn't know what he was going to do. I prayed and trusted Him to get me through those tough times.

During this process He was teaching me more than I even knew. I have learned that I have a very strong spirit of discernment. God has given me the ability to discern good from evil (as He does everyone), mine is just super strong. I have recently learned that I have been reacting to those feelings in all the wrong ways. Anger, criticism, judgment, sadness, and a need to control. God has shown me that he gave me that discernment so I can separate what's right and wrong, what's from Him and what's from the world. When I feel the holy spirit telling me something isn't right, I need to pray and pray hard! I don't need to judge or get angry and I definitely don't need to open my mouth (who would have guessed that's my biggest struggle ;) ).

Now on to the main point! I originally thought God wanted me to do hair so I can witness to my clients. Obviously that's a good idea but his plan was a little different. He placed me at this salon to be his light to the people I work with. God has some serious work to do and He trusted me to help Him. ME! What makes me so special? There are plenty of other people more suitable for this job! Of course it's scary and of course I don't feel worthy but he chose ME. At this point I have no choice but to follow His lead because he trusted me to be his vessel in this place and I'm going to do it! We have work to do and I am beyond honored that He wants me!

I have so many stories of success and failures that I've experienced through this journey. Some are personal to certain people and I don' t want to share things like that. I do have one story though! I have a client who attends a church in Albion called Real Life Ministries (at least I believe that's what it's called). She came in a few times and each time I felt so refreshed and encouraged! Well she ended up referring  four other clients to me and all of them are from the same church. Everytime one of them came in I just felt God's presence and reassurance. Of course a large number of my clients are friends and church family who bless me every day as well! God has brought me some of the most amazing clients! People who continually encourage me and feed me the good news of Christ when I need it most. He has been so faithful to me and I am just beyond grateful to Him.

All of that to say this. God truely does have a plan for each of us and when we follow His lead it is nothing short of incredible. I'm not saying this journey isn't hard but it's so worth it. What's better than doing work for Christ everyday! My latest struggle is knowing when to be quiet and also controlling my tongue. The words we say are more powerful than we know. If you feel like encouraging me in that I would love it!

Yes I am young. Yes I am getting married.

I haven't blogged in a while because I've been super busy! I also try not to blog unless it's about something positive or about something God has been doing in my life. This time it's a little negative.

Lately, everyone thinks it's important to inform me that I am too young to get married. "You haven't lived your life yet", or "Your too young to know what you want", or (the best one yet) "Do you know what life will be like in 10 years?". Here's what I have to say about that.

I have been in a relationship for a long time. We have had many ups and downs and have worked through alot of issues. It hasn't always been easy or fun but it has made us so much closer. God has done amazing things in both of us and I KNOW we will be happily married for our whole lives. How do I know this? God promised. He made a man and woman to have healthy, meaningful marriages. He is faithful and continues to bless us if we follows his ways. I commit to making God the center of my marriage and I won't accept anything negative people say about it.

This is where it gets kinda nasty. I'm sorry your marriage sucks. I'm sorry you don't have the life you want. I'm sorry your husband is so awful you have to talk crap about him behind his back. I'm sorry you made bad choices. I'm sorry you got a divorce. PLEASE don't put my relationship on that level and think that you know everything. Because the only person who does know everything says your wrong. And I trust Him.

That's all.

P.s. We moved our date!!! It's a little sooner than the original date and I couldn't be any happier! God has his hand in everything we are doing and all the plans we are making. :)

Doing what I LOVE

Just one year ago, I was lost and confused and begging for some guidance in my life. I didn't know what I wanted to do and I really wasn't sure where my life was headed. That was until God stepped in.

At the end of high school, my parents and I were talking about what I should do in the fall. I really wanted to play volleyball somewhere but I wasn't sure what I wanted to major in. They asked me what I loved to do and I said hair. I love to do hair. That really didn't seem like an option.  After many discussions I decided to go to KVCC and play volleyball.

That year in Kalamazoo was one of the loneliest years of my life. I hated playing volleyball and I hated school. The only good thing about that year is my sisters and Brandon were all in Kalamazoo with me. Second semester I got a job and things got a little better. I was still very lonely. That Spring, Brandon had broken up with me and both my sisters decided to move back to Jackson. I was a mess. Even though this was the hardest time I have ever faced, God really spoke to me. He gave me peace and joy in a time where I was hurting. I decided to move back home when the semester ended.

That fall I began a semester at JCC. It was another long semester and my grades were not so hot. I decided to take the next semester off to really figure things out. One night in the beginning of March my mom and I had a talk. I told her I really didn't know what I wanted to do and she asked me again, what do you love? I said well I've always loved doing hair but i don't know. She said do it then. If that's what you love then do it. That night I began looking for schools. By April 11th I had officially began the best journey of my life. I was so scared about being poor and committing to 7 hrs 5 days a week but it all worked out better than I could have imagined.

Doing hair makes me so happy. I love everything about it. I love getting up and going to school even if it means long hours. I used to be ashamed when I told people what I was in school for. Now, I could talk for hours about the awesome things I do everyday and how God brought me to this place. I let God take control of my life and now I know I'm doing what I was called to do.

I sometimes think back to that year in Kalamazoo and wonder how I could have done things differently, Even though it was really tough, I wouldn't change a thing. I learned so much and I have no regrets. It's crazy to think that doing hair could be doing Gods work but I truly believe he brought me to this for a reason. I'm going to continue to love what I do and hope Gods light shine through me :)

Let's talk about SEX!

This story is a little bit harder for me to write about. It is very personal but I really feel like God convicted me of this so I could share my story with others. I struggled with the idea of posting this online but I hope it impacts someones life.

I remember in 8th grade we had a presentation about abstinence and the importance of waiting until marriage to have sex. I wasn't at school that day but all my friends told me they signed a paper saying they would wait. Ironic thing is, I never signed it. Everyone always said they would wait until marriage but when we all got older things changed. The whole concept really stuck with me and I know it was God. For some reason he chose this to really lay on my heart.

As I entered high school, I was on a bad road. I guess you could say I was a little wild. I wasn't terrible but I wasn't making the best choices either. Brandon and I started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. I told him from the start that I didn't want to have sex until marriage. He liked me anyways ;) Brandon was (is) such a great influence on me. I stopped drinking when we got together and calmed down a lot. God put Him in my life to get me back on track.

Five years have passed since we got together. I am happy to say we are still waiting... still. It has been super hard and let me tell you, God is the reason why I am writing about this today. I remember praying every night that he would help us wait. It had been such a struggle but so worth it.

I truly believe God made sex for a man and a woman. To bring them together as one and be able to share something so personal. I have so many friends that have chosen a different path and I am sad for them. I know how hard it is to wait but I also know what a great thing its going to be when I am married to the man of my dreams and we can share something that we haven't shared with anyone else.

I didn't write this to show how holy I am or how strong I am. I am none of those things without God. He put this on my heart, He brought Brandon and I together, and HE gave us the strength and self-control we needed.